I'm thankful to have very wise and loving counseling in my life. Through these people God showed me how fearful and unforgiving I am to my husband. I see the amount of hate, that I shouldn't have at all, I have toward him. God has forgiven me for so much that it should be easy for me to forgive my husband. But it's not. And it's going to take a lot of prayer and counseling to help me do so.

I've allowed the fear of my husband to control me. Compared to my marriage years ago, I have given so much of my anxiety to God but I haven't given it all to him. I don't want my marriage to fail and if it means that changing even more can save my marriage then I definitely want God to change my heart more. Of course, I will use humanly wisdom if somethings serious should happen.

I am very thankful, as I have been praying a lot, that my husband's heart has softened. He agreed to come in soon, along with me, to speak to my pastor. That is a huge blessing. He was also very compromising, showing that he wants to make it work. These are actions and words that I would have never expected from my husband. So thank you for your prayers. Please continue to pray that God will change my heart since obviously I have a lot of anger toward my husband that I need to let go of. Hurt turns into anger and anger turns into bitterness. I don't want any of that in my heart.